Don't be Ashamed of what You Want!

Recently I read an interesting article that I found very profound. This article talked about how our society basically tells us we shouldn't want things. Or rather admit that we want things.

The biggest problem there seems to be with this, is in relationship. People are scared to tell other what they really want. Most the time because they are afraid of what they might judge them of being. For example: A husband and wife are going to go out to dinner. Wife asks where do you want to go and husband respond wherever you want.
Wife: how about italian?
Husband: No thats too heavy
wife: how about chinese?
Hus.: No I had chinese for lunch
and it goes on with a few more options, all rejected for some reason or another, finally she says again "where do you want to go" and again she gets "Wherever you want."

This sounds like a very frustrating situation but I am sure most people can say they have experienced it or seen it in some form or another. So in this situation, really he does care and want something specific or he just doesn't want to think about it and plays this guessing game (making his wife think of all the places they could go).

Some more very interesting examples: A man complains to his coworker that his wife is always telling him what he is doing wrong and its getting him down, he knows she is right but he just cant handle all the negativity. He thinks they might have to split up. He says all he really needs or whats is for her to assure him that she loves him and they will always be together. So why doesn't he just tell her what he WANTS and needs. Well she might think im too sensitive or soft... What! You would rather separate instead of tell her what you want.

Another crazy story: Woman gets married, husband drinks, she wants him to stop. So she figures she will get pregnant and that has to get him to stop. He does for a short time and then starts up again. Four children later she is divorced. She gets married again, man is unfaithful, figures she will get pregnant and he wont be. Three children later he leaves her. She would rather have a child than tell a man what she wants or needs!

These might sound far fetched but really, I think we all do it in some form or another. I think the most common form is to try to drop "hints" and hope the other person picks them up.
For Example: A woman wants to have more sex with her husband but she doesn't tell him because she is afraid he will think she is not satisfied or slutty or something. So she buy more lingerie and trys to look her best for bed and when it doesn't work feels helpless and unloved.

So why do we do this to ourselves? What is so horrible about admitting what u want? I think there is two sides to it, one fear of judgment (huge) and two believing we don't deserve what we want. I have come away from these thought resolved that I will tell people what I want. My husband and I talked about what we want and it brought us closer together. I think u also need to work on realizing what u want, that is another part that takes work.

Another point the article brought up was in the end we become what we say we want. whether its something you want to become, earn, live, etc. But if we never say it, we give that potential away.