Feeling depressed right now. I am feeling so burdened lately. Financially and Emotionally. I don't know what I am supposed to be doing with my life. I want to be everything that I am supposed to be but I feel like I am nothing. I feel like I'm not good at anything. I don't see strength anywhere, I only see weakness.
I am sad and I don't know what to do about it. I want to be a great mom and great at budgeting and great at doing what I am supposed to do in the church and serving other. I want to be an amazing woman but i'm not, and I don't see how I ever can be. Its hard and depressing. I feel like a failure. I hope I can be better because I don't like this.
Monday, January 9, 2012
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Just Accept Us
Through a series of events I have just come to a conclusion. I believe that I want to be accepted for who and what I am. Of course I know that I am not perfect and that I need to grow but in order for me to be open to what you dont like about me I need to know that you accept me the way that I am.
I seem to still not make sense. I dont even know if this does make any sense. But I have noticed with different women in my family we always say "this is the way I am." Reading that quote sounds like we are so prideful and maybe we are. But I also think we just want to be accepted. We will NEVER be perfect, we will always make mistakes so if you dont accept us the way we are now, when will we ever be accepted? Now that makes sense.
So how can we feel like we are accepted? Thats a tough one. I would say not critiquing us or telling us we need to be this or do that or what not. The best thing I would think is to be positive. There has got to be good things that we are doing, tell us about that. Love us no matter what.
I feel like we have grown up having conditional love much of the time and so we are so scared of love, there is always something that isnt good enough or could be better. So we are scared, scared to let people in, scared to accept others, scared to accept ourselves, etc. We try to separate ourselves from loving, thinking we can live without it.
In turn we push anyone close to us away by acting out or being more difficult to live with. Its not that we are consciously doing this, but that it is better to be hard to love than to try your hardest and still not be loved or accepted. Seems kinda crazy and I guess it all comes back to being insecure and not loving yourself so you have to look to others for the love but yet you dont let then love you.
Well I feel like I am not making sense again but I guess in the end, what I am saying is that you cannot look to others to fix the things you can only fix yourself. I need to be positive with myself, I need to love myself, I need to accept myself.
I am good enough, I am special, I am loved, I am deserving, I do love myself. Ok well this has been therapeutic, thanks.
Bye
I seem to still not make sense. I dont even know if this does make any sense. But I have noticed with different women in my family we always say "this is the way I am." Reading that quote sounds like we are so prideful and maybe we are. But I also think we just want to be accepted. We will NEVER be perfect, we will always make mistakes so if you dont accept us the way we are now, when will we ever be accepted? Now that makes sense.
So how can we feel like we are accepted? Thats a tough one. I would say not critiquing us or telling us we need to be this or do that or what not. The best thing I would think is to be positive. There has got to be good things that we are doing, tell us about that. Love us no matter what.
I feel like we have grown up having conditional love much of the time and so we are so scared of love, there is always something that isnt good enough or could be better. So we are scared, scared to let people in, scared to accept others, scared to accept ourselves, etc. We try to separate ourselves from loving, thinking we can live without it.
In turn we push anyone close to us away by acting out or being more difficult to live with. Its not that we are consciously doing this, but that it is better to be hard to love than to try your hardest and still not be loved or accepted. Seems kinda crazy and I guess it all comes back to being insecure and not loving yourself so you have to look to others for the love but yet you dont let then love you.
Well I feel like I am not making sense again but I guess in the end, what I am saying is that you cannot look to others to fix the things you can only fix yourself. I need to be positive with myself, I need to love myself, I need to accept myself.
I am good enough, I am special, I am loved, I am deserving, I do love myself. Ok well this has been therapeutic, thanks.
Bye
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
How to Heal from Depression
I read this article today on Oprah.com and found it very interesting and wanted to post it here to refer back to for myself and for anyone else who may be interested.
How to Heal from Depression
By Deepak Chopra
January 13, 2010
At one time or another, everyone has been depressed. For this reason, it would not seem to be a mysterious malady, but it is. The latest studies on popular antidepressants like Prozac and Paxil indicate that about 50 percent of patients get little or no benefit. These are people with mild to moderate depression, which account for approximately 70 percent of depression cases.
Is there a way to help them and to get millions of other depressed people off the pill?
This is now an urgent question. Doctors keep writing prescriptions, but back in the research lab, the findings are discouraging. It turns out that antidepressants don't correct imbalanced brain chemistry. And there's no real proof that the brain chemistry of depressed people is any different that of people who aren't depressed. All of this is bad news for big pharma, but it opens the way for other approaches. So let's start from scratch.
If you met a young person with awful table manners, what would you think? It's natural to suppose that this behavior started in childhood and turned into a habit. What if the same is true for depression? Most patients who complain of depression cannot say when it started. They talk about depression running in the family. This indicates that depression has three components:
* 1. An early outside cause.
* 2. A response to that cause.
* 3. A longstanding habit.
Let's rid our minds of calling depression a disease, just for a moment. Severe, chronic depression can be approached like other mental disorders. But you aren't ill if you get depressed after a bad divorce. We commonly say things like "She's out of her mind with grief" when someone loses a beloved spouse, but grief is natural, and the depression that comes with it is also natural. What this tells me is that depression is a natural response that can go terribly wrong.
What is to blame when depression goes wrong?
When depression goes wrong, all three components are to blame:
1. Outside causes: During the current recession, 60 percent of people who lost their job say it made them anxious or depressed. The number is much higher among workers who have been laid off for more than a year. Outside events can make you depressed. We all know that. If you subject yourself to enough stress over a long period of time, depression is much more likely—this includes a boring job, a sour relationship, long stretches of loneliness and social isolation and chronic disease.
2. The depressed response: An outside event cannot make you depressed unless you respond in a certain way. People who are depressed learned long ago to have the following responses when something goes wrong:
It's my fault .
I'm not good enough .
Nothing will work out.
I knew things would go wrong .
I can't do anything about it.
It was just a matter of time .
When a child has this response because something goes wrong, it can make sense. Small children have little control over their lives; they are weak and vulnerable. An unloving parent can create any of these responses, and so can a disastrous family event like a death.
But if you have these responses when you are grown up, the past is undermining the present.
3. The habit of being depressed: Once you start having a depressed response, it reinforces the next response. Did your first boyfriend dump you? Then it's natural to fear that the second one might, also. For some people this fear is minor, but for others it looms large. They keep having depressed responses, and after a while these turn into a habit.
Once it turns into a habit, depressed people no longer need an outside trigger. They are depressed about being depressed. A gray film coats everything; optimism is impossible. This defeated state tells us that the brain has formed fixed pathways. A small incident like a flat tire or a bounced check leaves no room for deciding, "Is this going to bother me or not?" Instead, the depressed response is already wired in. Depressed people can even feel sad about good events (they are always waiting for the other shoe to drop) because they are trapped in the habit of depression at the brain level.
How to avoid getting depressed
Let's say that these conditions sound reasonable. The key question is how to avoid getting depressed—that's number one—and how to reverse depression once it sets in. We can approach the whole question of prevention and getting better with the same three categories.
1. Outside events: People will say: "Did you see the evening news? I'm so depressed about the state of the world." Or, "I was depressed during the whole Bush era." This implies that outside events make us depressed, but in fact this ingredient is the least powerful in causing depression. Losing your job, for example, can be depressing if you are prone to the depressed response, but it can spur you to rise even higher if you don't turn to the depressed response.
Bad things are unavoidable, but some factors make them worse:
* If the stress is repeated
* If the stress is unpredictable
* If you have no control over the stress.
These points are easily proved with mice given mild electric shocks. If you space the shocks at random intervals, give them over and over and provide no way for the mice to turn off the shocks, it doesn't matter that the shocks are harmless. The mice will soon give up, act lethargic and helpless and, in time, die. In other words, you have induced extreme depression to the point that the will to live is destroyed.
What does this mean for someone who wants to avoid or alleviate depression?
* Stop exposing yourself to stresses that occur over and over. This could mean a bad boss, an abusive husband, a boring job or any other stress that is reinforced every day.
* Avoid unpredictability and uncertainty. They say life is uncertain, but there's a limit to what is acceptable. A boss who unpredictably flies into a rage isn't acceptable. For many people, a sales job, where any customer might lash out or walk away, is too uncertain to bear. A spouse who may or may not cheat is unpredictable in the wrong way. Regular habits, including a good night's sleep, regular exercise, a steady relationship and a job you can count on, are necessary for everyone. They aren't just good for you. They help avoid depression.
As a doctor, I know that someone isn't depressed if they can answer a simple question about a bad situation: Is this something I can fix, something I should put up with or something I need to walk away from? Depressed people deny themselves those key decisions. They almost always put up with bad situations. When depression isn't present, you know what to fix, what to put up with and what to walk away from. Learn how to make such decisions now, and you won't be saddled with future situations that create depression.
How to respond differently to difficult situations
2. The depressed response: Now we step into a major cause of depression, which means that it is also more difficult to treat. If you don't want to be overweight, it's much easier not to put the pounds on than to lose them once they are on. The same holds good for depression. It's much easier to learn the right response than to get rid of the wrong ones.
We all have self-defeating responses, but we rarely take the time or effort to replace them with better alternatives. Here are the alternatives to the thoughts that automatically come to mind when you're depressed:
It's my fault .
Instead, you could think: "It's not my fault; it's nobody's fault; the fault hasn't been determined yet; it may be nobody's fault; or finding fault does no good—we should be focusing on the solution."
I'm not good enough .
Instead, you could think: "I am good enough; I don't need to compare myself to others; it's not about good or bad; 'good enough' is relative; I'll be better tomorrow; or I'm on a learning curve."
Nothing will work out .
Instead, you could think: "Something will occur to me; things have a way of working out; I can ask for help; if one thing doesn't work out, there's always something else; or being pessimistic doesn't help me find a solution."
I knew things would go wrong .
Instead, you could think: "No, I didn't know; I'm second-guessing; I'm just feeling anxious; it will pass; or looking backward is only good if it leads to a better future."
I can't do anything about it .
Instead, you could think: "I can do something about it; I can find someone to do something about it; I always have the option of walking out; I need to study the situation more thoroughly; or being defeatist isn't helping me make things better."
It was just a matter of time .
Instead, you could think: "I'm not a fatalist; this was unpredictable; this too shall pass; it never rains all the time; or being fatalistic robs me of free choice."
To prevent depression, you have to recognize a depressed response and then learn new responses to counteract it. I am not saying that all the alternatives work all the time. The goal is flexibility. The nasty trick of the depressed response is that it paints everything with the same brush. You feel helpless about repairing your car's broken alternator (who wouldn't?) but also about getting out of bed to face the day (a sign of depression). To become flexible, you must beat the depressed response at its own game.
How to do that? Refuse to believe the first reaction you may have—such as sadness, helplessness and hopelessness. Go to the list of alternative responses, and find one that works. This takes time and effort, but it pays off handsomely. Learning a new response forms new neural pathways in the brain. It also opens doors.
What kinds of doors? When you are depressed, you tend to be isolated, lonely, apathetic, inactive, passive and closed to change. The new doors are exactly the opposite. By introducing a new response, you resist the temptation to fall back on old, stale beliefs. Instead of being isolated, you realize that other people are good for you. Instead of being passive, you see that taking charge is good for you.
Thus, you can break down the depressed response, which feels so overwhelming that it blankets everything, into manageable parts. Inertia is depression's best friend. There's always a hump to get over before you can actually change. So pushing yourself over the hump is like opening a door to a new brain pattern. To put it simply, you alone have the power to change. Depression weaves the illusion that the power has been stripped away. In truth, you can reclaim it, step by step, once you know how.
Breaking the habit of depression
3. The habit of depression . If you have ever lived around an alcoholic or any other addict, you know that there's a predictable pendulum swing in their behavior. When sober or off the drug, they sincerely repent and never want to return to their habits again. But these good intentions fly out the window when addicts are faced with the temptation to drink or shoot up or overeat or fly into a rage, depending on what their habits happen to be. Willpower disappears, the habit takes control and only getting a fix matters.
Depression also has its addictive side, in that sadness and hopelessness take charge. "I can't be any other way" is the common cry of both the alcoholic and the chronically depressed. In every case, there's a "good me" and a "bad me" warring against each other. For the alcoholic, the "bad me" drinks while the "good me" is sober. For the depressed person, the "bad me" is sad and hopeless while the "good me" is happy and optimistic. But, in truth, both sides are the "bad me" because it casts its shadow over everything. The best moments are a prelude to a relapse. The "bad me" is going to win in the end; the "good me" is merely its pawn.
The war is unwinnable, in short, which is why the pendulum keeps swinging back and forth, and why every so-called victory is always temporary. When a war is unwinnable, why fight? The secret to beating any habit is to stop fighting with yourself, to find a place inside that isn't at war. Meditation opens the way to finding such a place; all the world's wisdom traditions affirm that there is a core self that is at peace, calm, silent and full of joy and reverence for life.
When people frown and tell me they don't believe in meditation, my response is that they must not believe in the brain, because four decades of brain research has proven that the brain is transformed by meditation, and now there's newer evidence to suggest the genetic output also improves. That is, the right genes get switched on and the wrong ones switched off.
But breaking the habit of depression involves both inner work and outer work, as follows:
Inner work :
* Meditate
* Examine and change your negative beliefs
* Reject self-defeating responses to life's challenges
* Learn new responses that are life-enhancing
* Adopt a higher vision of life and live by it
* Recognize self-judgment and reject it
* Stop believing that fear is right just because it's powerful
* Don't mistake moods for reality.
Outer Work :
* Change stressful conditions
* Find fulfilling work
* Don't associate with people who increase your depression
* Find people who are close to who you want to be
* Learn to give of yourself, be generous of spirit
* Adopt good sleep habits and exercise lightly once a day
* Focus on relationships instead of distractions and endless consumerism
* Learn to re-parent yourself by finding people who know how to love, who are accepting and nonjudgmental.
The real road to recovery
As a doctor, I've met hundreds of depressed people who desperately want help, but how many of them were on the road to recovery? Most had put their faith in a pill or a psychiatrist. In some cases, symptoms can be relieved and progress can be made (although current studies show that taking an antidepressant offers no help in supporting other treatments or making therapy work better). But pills and therapy both have the same flaw: They approach depression as a disease.
As we saw, in mild or moderate depression, the disease model isn't needed and often does no good. The three ingredients we have been focusing on—outside stress, the depressed response and the habit of depression—take a new approach. They give you the power to reverse the underlying conditions of depression. I won't say the cause of depression has been found, because in the end your depression is entangled with everything else in your life. Because of that, you must reshape your life on many levels. Sometimes it takes very little to get out of depression—that is, if escaping a bad job or a toxic marriage can be seen as simple. At least it's direct.
Other times, depression is like a fog that cannot be grabbed in any one place. But fogs, too, can lift. The best news is that the real you isn't depressed and never has been. By setting out on the path to find the real you, you will accomplish more than healing your depression. You will emerge into the light and see life in a completely new way.
Deepak Chopra is the author of more than 50 books on health, success, relationships and spirituality, including his current best-seller, Reinventing the Body, Resurrecting the Soul , and The Ultimate Happiness Prescription , which are available now. You can listen to his show on Saturdays every week on SiriusXM Channels 102 and 155.
How to Heal from Depression
By Deepak Chopra
January 13, 2010
At one time or another, everyone has been depressed. For this reason, it would not seem to be a mysterious malady, but it is. The latest studies on popular antidepressants like Prozac and Paxil indicate that about 50 percent of patients get little or no benefit. These are people with mild to moderate depression, which account for approximately 70 percent of depression cases.
Is there a way to help them and to get millions of other depressed people off the pill?
This is now an urgent question. Doctors keep writing prescriptions, but back in the research lab, the findings are discouraging. It turns out that antidepressants don't correct imbalanced brain chemistry. And there's no real proof that the brain chemistry of depressed people is any different that of people who aren't depressed. All of this is bad news for big pharma, but it opens the way for other approaches. So let's start from scratch.
If you met a young person with awful table manners, what would you think? It's natural to suppose that this behavior started in childhood and turned into a habit. What if the same is true for depression? Most patients who complain of depression cannot say when it started. They talk about depression running in the family. This indicates that depression has three components:
* 1. An early outside cause.
* 2. A response to that cause.
* 3. A longstanding habit.
Let's rid our minds of calling depression a disease, just for a moment. Severe, chronic depression can be approached like other mental disorders. But you aren't ill if you get depressed after a bad divorce. We commonly say things like "She's out of her mind with grief" when someone loses a beloved spouse, but grief is natural, and the depression that comes with it is also natural. What this tells me is that depression is a natural response that can go terribly wrong.
What is to blame when depression goes wrong?
When depression goes wrong, all three components are to blame:
1. Outside causes: During the current recession, 60 percent of people who lost their job say it made them anxious or depressed. The number is much higher among workers who have been laid off for more than a year. Outside events can make you depressed. We all know that. If you subject yourself to enough stress over a long period of time, depression is much more likely—this includes a boring job, a sour relationship, long stretches of loneliness and social isolation and chronic disease.
2. The depressed response: An outside event cannot make you depressed unless you respond in a certain way. People who are depressed learned long ago to have the following responses when something goes wrong:
It's my fault .
I'm not good enough .
Nothing will work out.
I knew things would go wrong .
I can't do anything about it.
It was just a matter of time .
When a child has this response because something goes wrong, it can make sense. Small children have little control over their lives; they are weak and vulnerable. An unloving parent can create any of these responses, and so can a disastrous family event like a death.
But if you have these responses when you are grown up, the past is undermining the present.
3. The habit of being depressed: Once you start having a depressed response, it reinforces the next response. Did your first boyfriend dump you? Then it's natural to fear that the second one might, also. For some people this fear is minor, but for others it looms large. They keep having depressed responses, and after a while these turn into a habit.
Once it turns into a habit, depressed people no longer need an outside trigger. They are depressed about being depressed. A gray film coats everything; optimism is impossible. This defeated state tells us that the brain has formed fixed pathways. A small incident like a flat tire or a bounced check leaves no room for deciding, "Is this going to bother me or not?" Instead, the depressed response is already wired in. Depressed people can even feel sad about good events (they are always waiting for the other shoe to drop) because they are trapped in the habit of depression at the brain level.
How to avoid getting depressed
Let's say that these conditions sound reasonable. The key question is how to avoid getting depressed—that's number one—and how to reverse depression once it sets in. We can approach the whole question of prevention and getting better with the same three categories.
1. Outside events: People will say: "Did you see the evening news? I'm so depressed about the state of the world." Or, "I was depressed during the whole Bush era." This implies that outside events make us depressed, but in fact this ingredient is the least powerful in causing depression. Losing your job, for example, can be depressing if you are prone to the depressed response, but it can spur you to rise even higher if you don't turn to the depressed response.
Bad things are unavoidable, but some factors make them worse:
* If the stress is repeated
* If the stress is unpredictable
* If you have no control over the stress.
These points are easily proved with mice given mild electric shocks. If you space the shocks at random intervals, give them over and over and provide no way for the mice to turn off the shocks, it doesn't matter that the shocks are harmless. The mice will soon give up, act lethargic and helpless and, in time, die. In other words, you have induced extreme depression to the point that the will to live is destroyed.
What does this mean for someone who wants to avoid or alleviate depression?
* Stop exposing yourself to stresses that occur over and over. This could mean a bad boss, an abusive husband, a boring job or any other stress that is reinforced every day.
* Avoid unpredictability and uncertainty. They say life is uncertain, but there's a limit to what is acceptable. A boss who unpredictably flies into a rage isn't acceptable. For many people, a sales job, where any customer might lash out or walk away, is too uncertain to bear. A spouse who may or may not cheat is unpredictable in the wrong way. Regular habits, including a good night's sleep, regular exercise, a steady relationship and a job you can count on, are necessary for everyone. They aren't just good for you. They help avoid depression.
As a doctor, I know that someone isn't depressed if they can answer a simple question about a bad situation: Is this something I can fix, something I should put up with or something I need to walk away from? Depressed people deny themselves those key decisions. They almost always put up with bad situations. When depression isn't present, you know what to fix, what to put up with and what to walk away from. Learn how to make such decisions now, and you won't be saddled with future situations that create depression.
How to respond differently to difficult situations
2. The depressed response: Now we step into a major cause of depression, which means that it is also more difficult to treat. If you don't want to be overweight, it's much easier not to put the pounds on than to lose them once they are on. The same holds good for depression. It's much easier to learn the right response than to get rid of the wrong ones.
We all have self-defeating responses, but we rarely take the time or effort to replace them with better alternatives. Here are the alternatives to the thoughts that automatically come to mind when you're depressed:
It's my fault .
Instead, you could think: "It's not my fault; it's nobody's fault; the fault hasn't been determined yet; it may be nobody's fault; or finding fault does no good—we should be focusing on the solution."
I'm not good enough .
Instead, you could think: "I am good enough; I don't need to compare myself to others; it's not about good or bad; 'good enough' is relative; I'll be better tomorrow; or I'm on a learning curve."
Nothing will work out .
Instead, you could think: "Something will occur to me; things have a way of working out; I can ask for help; if one thing doesn't work out, there's always something else; or being pessimistic doesn't help me find a solution."
I knew things would go wrong .
Instead, you could think: "No, I didn't know; I'm second-guessing; I'm just feeling anxious; it will pass; or looking backward is only good if it leads to a better future."
I can't do anything about it .
Instead, you could think: "I can do something about it; I can find someone to do something about it; I always have the option of walking out; I need to study the situation more thoroughly; or being defeatist isn't helping me make things better."
It was just a matter of time .
Instead, you could think: "I'm not a fatalist; this was unpredictable; this too shall pass; it never rains all the time; or being fatalistic robs me of free choice."
To prevent depression, you have to recognize a depressed response and then learn new responses to counteract it. I am not saying that all the alternatives work all the time. The goal is flexibility. The nasty trick of the depressed response is that it paints everything with the same brush. You feel helpless about repairing your car's broken alternator (who wouldn't?) but also about getting out of bed to face the day (a sign of depression). To become flexible, you must beat the depressed response at its own game.
How to do that? Refuse to believe the first reaction you may have—such as sadness, helplessness and hopelessness. Go to the list of alternative responses, and find one that works. This takes time and effort, but it pays off handsomely. Learning a new response forms new neural pathways in the brain. It also opens doors.
What kinds of doors? When you are depressed, you tend to be isolated, lonely, apathetic, inactive, passive and closed to change. The new doors are exactly the opposite. By introducing a new response, you resist the temptation to fall back on old, stale beliefs. Instead of being isolated, you realize that other people are good for you. Instead of being passive, you see that taking charge is good for you.
Thus, you can break down the depressed response, which feels so overwhelming that it blankets everything, into manageable parts. Inertia is depression's best friend. There's always a hump to get over before you can actually change. So pushing yourself over the hump is like opening a door to a new brain pattern. To put it simply, you alone have the power to change. Depression weaves the illusion that the power has been stripped away. In truth, you can reclaim it, step by step, once you know how.
Breaking the habit of depression
3. The habit of depression . If you have ever lived around an alcoholic or any other addict, you know that there's a predictable pendulum swing in their behavior. When sober or off the drug, they sincerely repent and never want to return to their habits again. But these good intentions fly out the window when addicts are faced with the temptation to drink or shoot up or overeat or fly into a rage, depending on what their habits happen to be. Willpower disappears, the habit takes control and only getting a fix matters.
Depression also has its addictive side, in that sadness and hopelessness take charge. "I can't be any other way" is the common cry of both the alcoholic and the chronically depressed. In every case, there's a "good me" and a "bad me" warring against each other. For the alcoholic, the "bad me" drinks while the "good me" is sober. For the depressed person, the "bad me" is sad and hopeless while the "good me" is happy and optimistic. But, in truth, both sides are the "bad me" because it casts its shadow over everything. The best moments are a prelude to a relapse. The "bad me" is going to win in the end; the "good me" is merely its pawn.
The war is unwinnable, in short, which is why the pendulum keeps swinging back and forth, and why every so-called victory is always temporary. When a war is unwinnable, why fight? The secret to beating any habit is to stop fighting with yourself, to find a place inside that isn't at war. Meditation opens the way to finding such a place; all the world's wisdom traditions affirm that there is a core self that is at peace, calm, silent and full of joy and reverence for life.
When people frown and tell me they don't believe in meditation, my response is that they must not believe in the brain, because four decades of brain research has proven that the brain is transformed by meditation, and now there's newer evidence to suggest the genetic output also improves. That is, the right genes get switched on and the wrong ones switched off.
But breaking the habit of depression involves both inner work and outer work, as follows:
Inner work :
* Meditate
* Examine and change your negative beliefs
* Reject self-defeating responses to life's challenges
* Learn new responses that are life-enhancing
* Adopt a higher vision of life and live by it
* Recognize self-judgment and reject it
* Stop believing that fear is right just because it's powerful
* Don't mistake moods for reality.
Outer Work :
* Change stressful conditions
* Find fulfilling work
* Don't associate with people who increase your depression
* Find people who are close to who you want to be
* Learn to give of yourself, be generous of spirit
* Adopt good sleep habits and exercise lightly once a day
* Focus on relationships instead of distractions and endless consumerism
* Learn to re-parent yourself by finding people who know how to love, who are accepting and nonjudgmental.
The real road to recovery
As a doctor, I've met hundreds of depressed people who desperately want help, but how many of them were on the road to recovery? Most had put their faith in a pill or a psychiatrist. In some cases, symptoms can be relieved and progress can be made (although current studies show that taking an antidepressant offers no help in supporting other treatments or making therapy work better). But pills and therapy both have the same flaw: They approach depression as a disease.
As we saw, in mild or moderate depression, the disease model isn't needed and often does no good. The three ingredients we have been focusing on—outside stress, the depressed response and the habit of depression—take a new approach. They give you the power to reverse the underlying conditions of depression. I won't say the cause of depression has been found, because in the end your depression is entangled with everything else in your life. Because of that, you must reshape your life on many levels. Sometimes it takes very little to get out of depression—that is, if escaping a bad job or a toxic marriage can be seen as simple. At least it's direct.
Other times, depression is like a fog that cannot be grabbed in any one place. But fogs, too, can lift. The best news is that the real you isn't depressed and never has been. By setting out on the path to find the real you, you will accomplish more than healing your depression. You will emerge into the light and see life in a completely new way.
Deepak Chopra is the author of more than 50 books on health, success, relationships and spirituality, including his current best-seller, Reinventing the Body, Resurrecting the Soul , and The Ultimate Happiness Prescription , which are available now. You can listen to his show on Saturdays every week on SiriusXM Channels 102 and 155.
Monday, March 1, 2010
Workin out!
I have been workin out more and have already lost about 3-4 lbs over the past two weeks. My gym has a awesome face to face program that comes with signing up, it gives you a couple meetings with a trainer and nutrition info. I met with the trainer last week. She gave me a routine to work out my whole body with weights and said I need to do that 2-3 times and week and said I can do any cardio 4-5 times a week. Each work out also should be 30 min. Right now I am just scheduling weights 2 times and cardio 4 times so I can get consistent with that first.
I am already losing inches and seeing a big difference. I dont know exactly how much I have lost but I am able to fit in pants I know I couldnt wear the beginning of Feb.
Way exciting!
I am already losing inches and seeing a big difference. I dont know exactly how much I have lost but I am able to fit in pants I know I couldnt wear the beginning of Feb.
Way exciting!
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Worked out!
I worked out today! That is two times this week already. I worked out Monday and Wednesday. I am on track to work out 3 times. I think I am scheduled to work out tomorrow but I dont know for sure.
I did an "abs and arms" class today but it was a whole body workout. We did legs also. It was pretty intense but I really liked it. I think I am going to do that class regularly if possible.
I think I am going to need a nap today though. Getting up to work out and then class til 10 is killer without a nap.
well thats all for now.
I did an "abs and arms" class today but it was a whole body workout. We did legs also. It was pretty intense but I really liked it. I think I am going to do that class regularly if possible.
I think I am going to need a nap today though. Getting up to work out and then class til 10 is killer without a nap.
well thats all for now.
Monday, February 1, 2010
How am I doing with my resolutions
Well a month of the new year has already passed, crazy. I look back and am not seeing a whole lot of my resolutions done or worked on, but what is important is that I am not giving up.
recap of goals from post: "I want to lose weight. Be more patient. Be more positive. Be more productive."
Well my husband and I did get a membership at a gym and I went for about a week and a half and then have not gone. But on a positive note I have only missed a week. I am starting up again this week. When I was going I think I did lose a couple lbs but I feel like I got them back the week I stopped. I am going to go 3 times this week and every week thereafter.
Hmmm more patient. Not so sure I have had much success on that one. I need to separate myself from the situation more I think. I also think if I pray about it more that will hugely help, so I am also going to start doing that.
More positive. I really think I am doing better at that. The previous post kinda expounded on that and what I want to do.
More productive. It has kinda been on and off this last month. It definitely needs work. Last night I put a weekly schedule together with hourly spots so we can see when exactly we have things to do and when we have time that we need to be doing more. A few things I have scheduled is work out time, school of course, and pumping. Pumping is for breastfeeding. May seem like a weird thing that shouldn't mean much but that will really help out when it come to having milk ready for my daughter, and getting in bed earlier which enables me to sleep better and get up early. Which gives me a good start to my day.
It seems like I also said somethings about scriptures and praying in my resolution but if I didn't I should have. I have not been real good this last month but I am going to be. I am going to consciously remember and do.
Thats all for now.
recap of goals from post: "I want to lose weight. Be more patient. Be more positive. Be more productive."
Well my husband and I did get a membership at a gym and I went for about a week and a half and then have not gone. But on a positive note I have only missed a week. I am starting up again this week. When I was going I think I did lose a couple lbs but I feel like I got them back the week I stopped. I am going to go 3 times this week and every week thereafter.
Hmmm more patient. Not so sure I have had much success on that one. I need to separate myself from the situation more I think. I also think if I pray about it more that will hugely help, so I am also going to start doing that.
More positive. I really think I am doing better at that. The previous post kinda expounded on that and what I want to do.
More productive. It has kinda been on and off this last month. It definitely needs work. Last night I put a weekly schedule together with hourly spots so we can see when exactly we have things to do and when we have time that we need to be doing more. A few things I have scheduled is work out time, school of course, and pumping. Pumping is for breastfeeding. May seem like a weird thing that shouldn't mean much but that will really help out when it come to having milk ready for my daughter, and getting in bed earlier which enables me to sleep better and get up early. Which gives me a good start to my day.
It seems like I also said somethings about scriptures and praying in my resolution but if I didn't I should have. I have not been real good this last month but I am going to be. I am going to consciously remember and do.
Thats all for now.
No One is Perfect
Recently I heard an opinion of me and it got me thinking. I heard that another girl thought I was some kind of saintly perfect woman. I was astonished and wondered how she could ever think that. I am very very far from perfect and never think too highly of myself. But it made me realize how much everyone judges so quickly and how things are not always what they seem to be.
I have had very little interaction with this girl and yet she thinks so highly of me. I find that I think we, or maybe just I, tend to think the best of others and the worst of ourselves. "She" is better in this or that way seems to be what I do or hear. Or the other side is common among girls, putting girls down and putting themselves above others so they can feel better about themselves.
I would like to not put others downs and not put myself down. Just be positive, complement, and be happy. Especially to other girls. It seems that often times being shy is seen as being stuck up, people often think I am stuck up because I dont talk to them, but it is because I am shy. So I want to and am going to start putting myself out their, being positive, full of compliment (not to the point of fake though, real and sincere), and smile.
I would also like to try to get to know girls more. I seem to be content in my own little lonely world most the time and then when I am not content I just complain that I have no friends, I know silly right? So I am going to put myself out their and reach out to others, see how they are doing and be kind.
Yesterday there was a talk about service and how just the littlest things can make a difference in peoples lives. I am glad that this person brought up this very true concept. It made me think of how the littlest things have made me feel good. A girl at school asks me my name and it makes me feel good the rest of the night, she cared to know my name was all but that little bit of caring goes a long ways. I even went home and told my husband that I met someone. May sound weird, dorky, cheesy, whatever, but its true. A girl at church noticed I tried to look good yesterday and she complimented me, and it made all the difference for me. She not only noticed me (much of the time I feel unseen) but she noticed I tried to look like I got ready for church.
Little things make HUGE difference. So I want to be a person to lift people up and make them feel good about themselves. I want to compliment others, be kind and happy. I have a hard time complimenting others, not because I dont see anything to compliment but because I find it awkward. I think this is because I have a hard time complimenting myself. Kinda one of those if you cant love yourself you cant love others type of thing. So in accordance to all these other goals I need to not only think positive about others but also myself.
Ok long post. But to some it up. I am going to be positive, happy, complimentary to myself and other. I am so grateful for people who are such great examples to me of this. I am very far from perfect and everyone is and its ok. Life is good!
I have had very little interaction with this girl and yet she thinks so highly of me. I find that I think we, or maybe just I, tend to think the best of others and the worst of ourselves. "She" is better in this or that way seems to be what I do or hear. Or the other side is common among girls, putting girls down and putting themselves above others so they can feel better about themselves.
I would like to not put others downs and not put myself down. Just be positive, complement, and be happy. Especially to other girls. It seems that often times being shy is seen as being stuck up, people often think I am stuck up because I dont talk to them, but it is because I am shy. So I want to and am going to start putting myself out their, being positive, full of compliment (not to the point of fake though, real and sincere), and smile.
I would also like to try to get to know girls more. I seem to be content in my own little lonely world most the time and then when I am not content I just complain that I have no friends, I know silly right? So I am going to put myself out their and reach out to others, see how they are doing and be kind.
Yesterday there was a talk about service and how just the littlest things can make a difference in peoples lives. I am glad that this person brought up this very true concept. It made me think of how the littlest things have made me feel good. A girl at school asks me my name and it makes me feel good the rest of the night, she cared to know my name was all but that little bit of caring goes a long ways. I even went home and told my husband that I met someone. May sound weird, dorky, cheesy, whatever, but its true. A girl at church noticed I tried to look good yesterday and she complimented me, and it made all the difference for me. She not only noticed me (much of the time I feel unseen) but she noticed I tried to look like I got ready for church.
Little things make HUGE difference. So I want to be a person to lift people up and make them feel good about themselves. I want to compliment others, be kind and happy. I have a hard time complimenting others, not because I dont see anything to compliment but because I find it awkward. I think this is because I have a hard time complimenting myself. Kinda one of those if you cant love yourself you cant love others type of thing. So in accordance to all these other goals I need to not only think positive about others but also myself.
Ok long post. But to some it up. I am going to be positive, happy, complimentary to myself and other. I am so grateful for people who are such great examples to me of this. I am very far from perfect and everyone is and its ok. Life is good!
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