Just Accept Us

Through a series of events I have just come to a conclusion. I believe that I want to be accepted for who and what I am. Of course I know that I am not perfect and that I need to grow but in order for me to be open to what you dont like about me I need to know that you accept me the way that I am.

I seem to still not make sense. I dont even know if this does make any sense. But I have noticed with different women in my family we always say "this is the way I am." Reading that quote sounds like we are so prideful and maybe we are. But I also think we just want to be accepted. We will NEVER be perfect, we will always make mistakes so if you dont accept us the way we are now, when will we ever be accepted? Now that makes sense.

So how can we feel like we are accepted? Thats a tough one. I would say not critiquing us or telling us we need to be this or do that or what not. The best thing I would think is to be positive. There has got to be good things that we are doing, tell us about that. Love us no matter what.

I feel like we have grown up having conditional love much of the time and so we are so scared of love, there is always something that isnt good enough or could be better. So we are scared, scared to let people in, scared to accept others, scared to accept ourselves, etc. We try to separate ourselves from loving, thinking we can live without it.

In turn we push anyone close to us away by acting out or being more difficult to live with. Its not that we are consciously doing this, but that it is better to be hard to love than to try your hardest and still not be loved or accepted. Seems kinda crazy and I guess it all comes back to being insecure and not loving yourself so you have to look to others for the love but yet you dont let then love you.

Well I feel like I am not making sense again but I guess in the end, what I am saying is that you cannot look to others to fix the things you can only fix yourself. I need to be positive with myself, I need to love myself, I need to accept myself.

I am good enough, I am special, I am loved, I am deserving, I do love myself. Ok well this has been therapeutic, thanks.

Bye